Ever notice how dog and cat food isn’t really designed for dogs and cats at all? My mother has a Cocker Spaniel named Chaeli that eats natural venison and hand-chopped carrots every night, and wears a “snood” to protect her dainty ears from dangling in the bowl.

The really funny part is that Chaeli would be just as content- if not more so- eating rotten garbage and sucking on dead squirrels.

But, I can’t poke too much fun…particularly not after reading the label from the bag of dog food sitting in my own pantry:

Ok, let’s inject some reality here. This food is marketed to me. Not my dog. A perfect illustration of this occurs every evening when I take my dog for a walk.

Granted, Bailey the Maltese isn’t as prim or polished as Chaeli the Cocker, but he’s still spoiled rotten. He has dozens of toys, a stroller, a collar with turquoise stones, he drinks a freshly blended fruit smoothie every morning, and knows how to point and ask politely for his food. So, having said that…

Every evening, Bailey goes for a walk. And, every evening we pass by a certain flower bed where a herd of stray cats do their “business.” To Bailey, this flower bed is a buffet of delectable treats. He is pulled from the pine straw every evening kicking and crying. What can I say, he loves to eat cat poo.

Now, if dog food were really marketed to dogs, you can forget the omega-fatty acids, chicken gravy, meaty beef chunks, venison, and hand-chopped carrots. It would taste like garbage, dead squirrels, spoiled meat, or, in Bailey’s case, cat poo.

So, here’s a suggestion for a brave entrepreneur who wants to market a dog food to dogs instead of their humans: Kitty Ka-Ka. Not the real thing, of course…just a rich, artificial flavor will do.  Dogs will turn on their owners to get more. You’ll make some enemies out of humans, but you’ll be a hero in the dog world.

…and just might get rich in the process.